I Feel So Alive

Inspiring Transformational Experience

The Secret To Getting Anything You Want

The most important person in your life is the person right in front of you.  So simple yet so hard to honor.  Being fully engaged with the person in front of you, whether you want to be engaged with them or not can have a profound effect on how you are perceived and the future fruits of that relationship. 

The truth of the matter is our greatest interest is actually self-interest.  Therefor if you treat the person you are with as the most important person in your life you are feeding that persons self-interest, making that person automatically indebted and grateful to you.  By treating the person you are engaging with respect and 100% of your attention you reinforce their core belief that they are the most important person.  There is nothing wrong with having this outlook.  Of course “I” am the most important person to me.  Of course you are the most important person to you.  The person you are talking to is not the most important person to you, but if you act like it you will win their favor forever.   They will love you and respect you, listen to you and tell everyone about you because you treated them with the respect and attention that they so badly desire, but so rarely receive.  To feel wanted, to feel listened to and to feel respected, there is little more satisfying than that. 

I urge you, give 100% of yourself to every person you are with, and to every conversation you have, just watch what happens.  Treat each person you encounter like they are actually the person you respect most in life.  Everyone wants the same thing, give it to them and they will repay the favor 100 times over.    


Do The Right Thing #DTRT

The theory behind my life is simple but sound.  “Do The Right Thing”.  The full saying is actually, “do the right thing, if you can’t do the right thing, don’t fuck up”.  The saying was taught to be by a great man, my first boss, a real “man’s man”, and an influence I desperately needed in my teens.  He taught me to work hard, to suck it up and do what needed to be done when it needed doing.  In response to my questions there was often the simple response, “Do the right thing”.  It proved to be the best answer to every and any question. 

Doing the right thing does not mean following every rule, making the correct decisions every time, it does not mean being perfect or right every time.  It is a guide line to life.  It is the 10 commandments simplified into four neat and understandable words.  It is do what needs to be done and do it the best you can.  It means, even if it is harder, requires more effort, more time or a personal sacrifice, if it is the way something needs or should to be done, do it.  It means, suck it up, it means take the risk and it means do what the other person is not willing to do. It means don’t take a short cut unless in that particular situation a short cut is should be taken.   

By living this way you inherently will lead a life you are proud of.  You can be confident in every action and in every sentence because you know it’s the right thing.  It can be your core compass.  Your guiding light.  Four simple but sound words which can change your life forever.    Do The Right Thing.


Act As If

Emotions can be all consuming.  Feeling such as fear, sadness, joy and nervousness and awkwardness can be all consuming.  They are interior conditions though.  Just like our thoughts, which don’t have to be spoken or heard by anyone else, no one needs to see your emotion.  We don’t have to act out our emotion for the world to see.  Imagine the reaction if your friends and co-workers could hear all your thoughts for a day!  It is the same with emotions except that we act out or emotions physically for others to interpret.  So the suggestion is to “act as if”.  Act as if everything was good, as if you feel confident, strong, mature, happy, act as if you were the person you want to show up as.  Define and design that person in advance.  Does that person smile?  Talk with authority? Walk tall?  How exactly do you want to be perceived?  I am not suggesting that you are fake, I am suggesting that you don’t show all your cards all at once.  The true magic behind acting as if lies in what happens if you continue in this behavior.  Eventually you become confident, strong, happy, and successful, you become the person you are personifying.  Your actions will manifest into your feelings.  Through your action you will start to feel the way you act.  We have control over our actions, our reactions our posture, our smile and most importantly our words.  Shape and be conscious of what you have control over and you will find yourself becoming and feeling like the person you strive to be.


What Makes You Come Alive?

Are you conscious of your actions, path and direction?  Is there a goal in mind or are you just drifting through the motions of a passive existence?  If you put in half the effort which you currently exert to avoid and suppress your passion into discovering it, your life would become fulfilling, exciting and truly rewarding.  

You may work hard and put in great effort but none of that matters if it is focused in the wrong direction.  With each day you work further down the wrong road.  Eventually ending up in the completely wrong place without enough time to get back to where you were meant to be.  If you find yourself accelerating down the wrong street STOP, assess the situation, turn around and make a change.  Isn’t that obvious?  It is hard to back track, to start over, to begin again but, it’s easier then never doing it at all. 

Why not?  Self-discovery begins where you comfort zone ends.  Push yourself.  Do what is uncomfortable.  Stop dreaming it, fantasizing of it, and making excuses of why you can’t and just do it.

It is not too late to take the reins back.  Every day you wait is a day wasted. Why wait at all?  

“Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do it.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive” – Howard Thurman. 


Passion Will Save You

“In almost any subject, your passion for the subject will save you.  If you care enough for a result, you will most certainly attain it.   If you wish to be good, you will be good.  If you wish to be rich, you will be rich, if you wish to be learned, you will be learned. Only then you must really wish these things and wish them well exclusiveness and not wish one hundred other incompatible things just as strongly” – William James, Harvard’s most distinguished Professor of Psychology.   

Success vs Failure

Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or the pursuit of a worthy ideal.  It is not necessarily achieving that goal as society might commonly define it, but it is the process and the effort in the journey towards that destination.  It is having the courage to spend your most valuable resource, time, working towards the thing that matters most to you.  Your dream. Your vision. Your purpose.   

Failure is continuous effort without personalized focus, direction or intention.  It is exerting aimless energy every day because you have not put in the effort to discover who you really are and what you really need.  Or worse, knowing who you are and what you need but not making the effort to take the risk of achieving that.  There is no greater failure than ignoring your highest potential or purpose because you chose to believe your imagined and meaningless excuses.

The first step in being successful is having a goal, a dream or an ideal clearly defined.  It is discovering and more importantly honoring what is most important to you.  It is realizing that anything is possible as long as you move in that direction.  You can literally have anything you want.  It is truly simple.  Continuously move in the direction of the thing you desire and you will eventually have it.   Just by moving in that direction you are already successful. 


Scared of Yourself?

Your subconscious mind always knows what is right and what is wrong, unfortunately most people have learned to block out that mind.  In order to hear and understand that voice it needs to be developed and nurtured, trusted and grown.  Your internal voice is a personal compass for navigating the course and challenges of life.  Unfortunately we have the power to ignore this internal system.  An intangible feeling of being lost or somehow separate is a warning sign that you have disconnected from this flawless internal guidance.  

Your intuition and inner voice gets stronger with practice and trust, but your ability to silence that voice gets stronger with practice as well.  The more you practice excuses, the more you justify your actions and worse, in-actions, to the people around you, the better you become at deceiving to yourself.  There is no knob to turn up the volume of your inner guidance.  It takes time and a leap of faith to develop.  It takes trying that different behavior, experimenting with an alternative solution, and doing the thing that keeps nagging at you, but you keep ignoring because the way you know is easier and safer.  Every time you trust that gut feeling it grows stronger and grows louder.  It is always right.  It is always the truth. 

Are you going to take the easier and safer way through your whole life or take back control of your life?  Stop being scared of yourself and try listening to yourself.  By taking inspired actions you will gain strength, a feeling of connectedness and a wholeness you have not experienced since childhood.   


Might As Well Shoot Up

“Waiting” is just as toxic and dangerous as shooting meth.  Both result in the same outcome, a wasted life.  We don’t often find ourselves regretting the things we do, but instead the things we don’t do.   The good news is, like shooting meth, regret is a choice and is completely avoidable.  “Don’t Wait”, by living with and fully committing to this guiding principle you can have a life free of regret. 

The clock is ticking, time waits for no man, and now is the time to take action.  Years will slip by and opportunities will be lost, in fact opportunities have already been lost.  At this point it is too late for something.  What have you let slip through your fingers?  What dream did you have that is now lost because you rationalized “why not now”?  Sit with that…

You let fear stop you.  Don’t let it happen again.  This is your one chance.  

Don’t wait.   


To The Best of Your Ability

Each day we have an option.  We can perform to the best of our ability, or not.  Showing up fully to take on the challenges of life as it is and as it comes is a choice.  Many of us make excuses from the second we wake up, reasons why we cannot, will not and won’t perform to the best of our ability.  We don’t see it as excuses though.  As “excuse makers” we feel justified in our reasoning.  To us our level performance and our excuses are rationalized by some series of thoughts we have strung together through great effort in order to justify our behavior or situation.  The ironic thing is performing to the best of your ability is your natural state and it is the path of least resistance.    

When you do the right thing, show up fully and live to the best of your ability you are moving in a positive life direction.  The stars align for you, good fortune comes your way, and your self-esteem lifts with each inspired success.  By doing the right thing, but not necessarily the easy thing or thing you “want” to do we end up getting what we need.  What we need is a lot more powerful than our short term desires. 

More often than not, when we aren’t meeting our highest potential it is because there is a self-induced force in our lives working against us. Some person, place or behavior is affecting our ability to show up fully.  Take a hard and honest look at your life.  What is stopping you from being your best?  Is it drugs, alcohol, a co-dependent relationship, fear, apathy or TV?  It could be anything. In other words, what is the gun that you are using to shoot yourself in the foot with over and over again?  What is it going to take to realize that this is hurting you?  

When you are able to honestly identify and fully accept what behavior it is that is holding you back you will gain the ability to recognize what needs to change.  This change might not be instantaneous. It might take tremendous amounts of self-control, hard work, and determination. You might stumble and fall, but you must brush yourself off and get back up.  As you clear your life of blocks “the best of your ability” grows exponentially.  You will reach your full potential and with that you will gain a sense of contentment.   Lift the anchor which you have been dragging so that you can float forward.  If you need assistance hauling your anchor or anchors, ask for or find the help you need.  Do the right thing so that you can be your best thing.


Work to Live or Live To Work?

The fact is the average American spends the majority of his or her waking life at work.  We work to maintain our existence, but if our existence consists of mostly work, our work is what we should be living for.  Our lives can be focused on the thing we are most passionate about so that we spend the majority of our waking life doing what fulfills us most, and the rest of our time doing what falls into the category of entertainment, family or life maintenance.  Why would we rationalize spending the majority of our days engaged in an activity with no meaning?  There is a good possibility that this is our only chance at life.  Don’t you want to look back at your time on this earth feeling that you have enjoyed living it at all hours of the day and that you gave 100% of yourself, no regrets, no “if I had only’s”?  Everyone can find work they love if they are willing to be honest with themselves, let go of ego and be brave.  Using tools like the Myers-Briggs personality test (http://www.myersbriggs.org/) is a great way and first step at figuring out where you are going to feel most fulfilled in the work place.  It is easy to figure out who you are and what you love if you try, taking action is where most get stuck.  There is no test or therapist who can put one foot in front of the other.  You have to take the first step.