I Feel So Alive

thoughts on developing a fulfilled life

Listen or Not

We know what behavior is right and what behavior is wrong.  When we really listen there is that little voice in our head which most usually choose to ignore.  Some call it a conscious, some call it a nuisance.  The voice does not go away. 

There are a few options at this point. 

One; avoid the voice.  Keep pushing it back down until it acts out catastrophically and you find yourself hating yourself for ignoring yourself.  

Two; let the voice torment you for years and years until you take action leading to a major change in your life style then find yourself wondering why you wasted so much time ignoring what you had known to be true all along. 

Three; hear, trust and act on the inner guidance.  Make or at least try the suggested change in a timely fashion.  Reap the rewards of the truth and inspired direction, appreciate that you listened to your instinct, and reinforce trust in your inner voice all while building self-esteem.  Sounds like a win to me.  Worst case scenario; make the change, realize it was not accurate, resume old behavior and feel grateful that at least you tried.  No regrets.

Listen or not, it’s up to you.

The Punished Punisher

There are a few key traits which distinguish us from our uncivilized animal counter parts, most notably the ability to inquire within.  Humans can ask questions such as “who am I”, “what is the purpose of life” and “what will make me happy”.   There is one trait though that is truly a curse to the human race.  We are the only creatures who are punished more than once for our mistakes.  We punish ourselves over and over with negative self talk, we are punished by our community, shunned by our friend and constantly reminded by our families of the mistakes we have made.  Even worse, we do the same to others.  We gossip, and blame, we refuse to forgive and hold onto hatred and resentments for years if not life times.

In nature animals experience the effects of their mistakes immediately and move on.  They don’t harbor guilt, blame or pain the way we do as humans and as a society.  Is it possible to be so present in our lives that we can recognize a mistake, feel the effects of the wrong action and move on?  Not just within ourselves, but can we do that for co-workers, friends and even our loved ones?  Can we recognize the pain, process the pain, and move on? 

Yes we can. 

We can only forgive if we truly accept and we are truly honest with the moment.  When an event takes place good or bad it must be fully recognized.  It must be fully dealt with then and there or within a short period of time.  It cannot be dragged out.  It cannot be harbored.  You must confront it head on or it will eat away at you forever causing pain and illness.  Resentments and endless punishment hurt everyone, and the truth is that it usually has greater negative effects on the punisher not the punished. 

Let’s let go.

Let us learn from the animal kingdom.  Fully feel the moment, in the moment, and move on.  It is hard to be completely honest and to confront situations head on but it is the only true way of being free. 

Make a list of the actions you are punishing yourself for and another list of the people you are punishing.  What do you need to do in order to forgive yourself or that person?  What needs to be said or done? Can you find the courage to do it?

-DRM

Faced with Challenge

When life does not go according to your plan how do you respond? 

Do you dig your heels into the ground?  Do you get angry?  Do you give up?

Or, do you carry on?

In the moment it is easier to whine, to complain, to put up a fight or to just quit, but it is at the expense of your own success.  Success is not sweet if you don’t work for it and working for it typically is not just going through the motions.  It means going the extra mile.  It means adapting to accommodate unexpected circumstances.  It means consistently doing the right thing.  It means following through, finishing what you started and continuing on even when it gets hard, even when it looks impossible and even when it doesn’t look the way you originally wanted.  

The ability to persevere in the face of challenge is what separates the happy and fulfilled from the unhappy and unfulfilled.  It is essential to finish what you start.  Each win, each completion and each goal met no matter how big or small exponentially increases your self-esteem, sense of self-worth and confidence in your ability to take on the next challenge.  

Success builds on success.  Take down some small lingering challenges, that momentum will propel you into a rhythm of persevering in the face of the inevitable and unforeseen challenges I like to call life.

-DRM

Procrastination. The Root of All Regret

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Throughout my life I have looked back too many times saying “if I had only”.  Opportunities are a dime a dozen, but there are only certain opportunities that make your heart flutter.  Those are the ones you take.   I have taken many.  Every opportunity seized has led to one of two situations.  One, the seized opportunity leads to some life changing fabulous adventure or growth experience.

Win.  

Two, the seized opportunity leads to other opportunities, which I then procrastinate on until the new opportunity, as well as the original opportunity expires and I end up saying to myself “if I had only”.  

Regret.  

If I had only what?  If I had taken that opportunity while it was still ripe and not let it rot right off the tree.   If I had only finish what I started.  If I had only followed through with what I said I was going to do.  If I had only listened to my heart. 

It is so easy in life to convince yourself why not.  This evening I caught myself letting go of a potential opportunity.  I rationalized it by saying, “my life is finally stable, I should work on closing loops, I don’t need to start anything new right now”.   Yes it’s true I have a lot to finish, but how can I rationalize procrastinating on another opportunity leading to another “if I had only” moment. 

Neither you nor I can complain about our situation if we ever procrastinate on anything.  I urge you to take the challenge, accept the opportunity and let go of the excuses.  By not continuing to accept the opportunities we negate the previous seized opportunity thus ending a cycle of growth and productivity.  Live a life without regret by letting go of procrastination.  

-DRM

The Control spectrum.
We live our lives on a spectrum. 
There are those of us who relish safety, otherwise known as control.  Risk is minimized, the route they choose has been straightened and flattened, the street signs are well lit and ample, and there is a sizable median to prevent anyone from colliding.  This type of person has a stable job, but one with no real responsibility.  It is a life not worth writing about.  It is a fear state.  This is one end of the spectrum.
The opposite end of the spectrum is completely out of control.  A loose cannon, unpredictable, rash and volatile.  The risk taker, the trouble maker, not really a place many people thrive to be.
Balance is the key.
What I propose is living just inside of out of control, but walking this fine line like a tight rope that you’re not afraid to fall off of. 
The Control Spectrum
-DRM

The Control spectrum.

We live our lives on a spectrum. 

There are those of us who relish safety, otherwise known as control.  Risk is minimized, the route they choose has been straightened and flattened, the street signs are well lit and ample, and there is a sizable median to prevent anyone from colliding.  This type of person has a stable job, but one with no real responsibility.  It is a life not worth writing about.  It is a fear state.  This is one end of the spectrum.

The opposite end of the spectrum is completely out of control.  A loose cannon, unpredictable, rash and volatile.  The risk taker, the trouble maker, not really a place many people thrive to be.

Balance is the key.

What I propose is living just inside of out of control, but walking this fine line like a tight rope that you’re not afraid to fall off of. 

The Control Spectrum

-DRM

What if our clocks counted down?

How would you live your life differently if the clock beside your bed counted down to the end of your life instead of on an endless 24 hour cycle?  Is this the life you intended on living?  If you knew the time you had left, be it a day, year or 100 years, if you knew, absolutely new and could see the your exact time left how differently would you operate?  We feel timeless because our lives are seemingly undefined, but they are only undefined to our eyes, our bedsides clocks are counting the wrong numbers, and so are we.  Our lives can not be defined by a 9-5 and 5 day week, this isnt the life that was intended for us. 

Sailing to Chile from Tortola

"For this is what we do. Put one food forward and then the other.  Lift our eyes to the snarl and smile of the world once more.  Think. Act. Feel.  Add our little consequence to the tides of good and evil that flood and drain the world.  Drag our shadowed crosses into the hope of another night.  Push our brave hearts into the promise of a new day.  With love: the passionate search for a truth other than our own.  With longing: the pure, ineffable yearning to be saved.  For so long as fate keeps waiting, we live on.  God help us.   God forgive us.  We live on."  - Shantaram, Gregory David Roberts

A Pat On The Back Goes a Long Way

Appreciate your employees.  They are literally giving up everything for you.  If you do not appreciate that, and take that into your daily consideration, there is very little hope for what you are trying to build.  The people you bring into your business are literally its life blood.  They need constant attention and support, more importantly, authentic attention and support and quite literally a pat on the back.

Show them you care.

Some Tips:

1.       Be the first one there and the last one to leave

2.       Have daily meetings. First thing, 9 am. Set goals. Create energy. Inspire.

3.       Clearly define the goal.